Frustrations

My hip remains stubbornly unhappy with me despite another helping of Motrin. The joint has been a problem in the past, easily aggravated by motions such as raising my leg or (apparently) being forced into a 90˚ angle a la sitting down or sitting on the floor legs extended or really anything too sudden and apparently the problem has chosen to interfere with my present as well as the aforementioned (and yet-to-be-mentioned, haven't got to that part of the back-story narrative yet) past.

This is, of course, rather irritating.

There is no doubt in my mind that going ahead with the frame is the right thing to do. The potential rewards far outweigh the probable discomfort. I just wish it was a more complete cure. Because, yes, my leg will be straight, but it will do nothing to my one toe which stubbornly clings on top of its neighbor and nothing to the bony outcroppings on my ankle which are ever so fascinating to rub my foot along when I should be trying to go to sleep and nothing about how my fingers aren't normal length (I'm endlessly fascinated by hands that do have normal length fingers) and nothing about how there's a bone growth in my hip which makes any sort of rapid leg motion questionable.

I want to be able to run after this surgery.

Based on where I am at the moment, that won't be happening unless I do something to resolve the hip issues—changing my gait (doable, I walk with a very slight limp as is) or surgery or just trying to ignore the problem (though I've tried that tact before and it didn't work out so well). I always have motivation issues with stairs—they look intimidating and I don't want to walk up them—but today I've been having hip issues with stairs. In track last spring, I had to dramatically decrease the portion of all-team warm-up I did because of the hip, as well as sticking to the most basic shot and disc throws. I wanted to learn the more advanced throws, but the more advanced throws I tried resulted in momentary explosions of hip pain and then a very pronounced hobbling as I moved across the sector to pick up the implement.

This scares me. If I have to majorly adapt how I throw, then what about something like running? What then?

I'm just not sure.

Fixing the hip, from what I understand, involves another major surgery. To put it one way, the take-away phrase from that particular doctor's appointment was "surgical hip dislocation." But the more I think about it, the more it's starting to make sense. From what I understand, the frame process could make the potential hip surgery easier. Not sure what'll happen, but that tidbit is legitimately rather reassuring.

I know that, in many ways, I have it easy. I'm six feet tall and don't need any major limb extensions. My arms and legs are functional. I can walk. I go to a pretty decent school and I have good teachers and a supportive family and live in a nice house and have access to fun things to read and interesting ideas to play with.

And yet—this hip thing is really getting to me. Maybe if I sleep on it things will look better in the morning?